What’s with all the sex posts? What’s going on with you? Wow, you’re really pushing boundaries? Are you really going to do that? This is all a bit raunchy for you isn’t it?
Are some of the recent questions I’ve been asked? So I guess we’ll start with a bit of a history lesson to bring you up to speed and what my intentions are.
Here we go!
I wasn’t always sex positive, I used to be a bit of a prude in fact! No, I’m serious I did, you see, I was exposed to sex very early in life and began exploring these amazing feelings, I was very curious, I would observe behaviours and how they changed in people once they became aroused, I found it fascinating. However, the darker side was also a presence and due to traumas and the opinions of others without going into great detail of these experiences, I began to feel shamed and scared by sex and for a lot of years to come (pardon the pun).
Throughout my teenage years, I didn’t really explore all that much, I was very shy with an outgoing persona and the lads from the hood weren’t exactly doing it for me, probably because I’ve always been a bit alternative. I remained a virgin up until the age of 17 and up until then there was only a little bit of basic foreplay. The guy, I chose as my first, was 28 and he used to come into the pub I DJ’d in, I fancied him as soon I saw him and I was like ‘it is him’ and I even grew the balls to tell him, which was a pretty big deal for me. It wasn’t a mind blowing experience, but it was consented and very vanilla, pretty much how you would expect a first time, pleasant and comfortable, so I can’t complain.
Over the years my shyness held me back the most and all my best orgasms were with myself, where I could explore through masturbation and imagination. Talking about these were still not welcomed though? WTF is that about, was there something wrong with me, what’s the big deal, you do it? Yeah but we’re not supposed to talk about it! Huh, why I’m confused?
My confidence grew over the years, where basic vanilla, became me asking for things a little differently. I wasn’t scared to ask and my appetite, well some couldn’t keep up and I won’t lie this did ruin a few relationships. I didn’t realise I was a switch until I gave up to submission for the first time with the first kinky lover I’d had. Some of my favourite sexual memories are with this lover. But even still, there was some reservation, I was terrified of letting go completely.
Fear, such an inhabitant of our very souls. What would people think? What if I become a sex freak? What if it breaks me? What if I don’t like it? What if I do? What if?? What If?? So I punked out of that dynamic and got with a what felt like a safer option. Plus I enjoyed dominating too.
Fast forward to now and a couple of relationships later and my first ever one night stand. I know what I want and what opportunities I regret not taking. I wish I’d of modelled lingerie when approached at 19, I wish I’d of had the balls to try burlesque dancing in 2010 like I wanted too. I wish I’d of explored more with my kinky lover. I wish I didn’t lose myself when I got married and pushed my husband to explore more. I wish I’d never gave a fuck about what anyone thought.
You see your pleasure and desires will always be totally different to anyone else’s for a multitude of reasons, we’re all unique we’ve all been exposed to different experiences in very different ways. What works for one doesn’t always work for another.
What’s the purpose of expressing sex?
It’s liberating and empowering to know what you like and how you like it and most of all to be able to express that without giving a flying fuck about being penalised or reprimanded for it.
I’m a rebel and I hate being told what to do, well…. sometimes! For something as natural as sex to have so much stigma surrounded by it in this day and age is quite frankly fucking bollocks. Sex is one of the best feelings we could ever encounter and yet we are made to feel it shouldn’t be celebrated. I’m not saying you have to parade your yoni or horn around like a dog on heat, but your sexual choices and preferences should not be shamed in anyway and we should be able to express them freely, right? We should be able to explore openly and safely.
I want to help others with this. I’m a natural born helper, empath, personal trainer, blogger etc. I want to create a hub where everyone can do that. This website is born of that and will be a dedicated sex blog, that discusses all sex topics, datng, relationships and lifestyle.
Make sure you subscribed, it’s gonna get deliciously sticky!